I'm so Sorry
by goth4ever
Summary: "Do not let such a weak thing such as death pull you away from this world... Take you away from me..." Drama, sad. Doesn't mean to be Thor/Loki but it probably sounds that way.


He ran down the hall, his legs pumping him as fast as they could. He didn't have the muscle to shove people out of the way, so he turned to his side and slipped between people, not paying any mind to people who stared or asked what was the matter. He had to get there. He had to be in that room.

The guards at the end of the hall blocking the door saw him coming and didn't even wait for him to demand the doors open. They just grabbed the handles and opened it for him, allowing him to rush in. He slid to a stop, his eyes wide and wild.

"Loki?" he heard his mother speak softly, making him look at her. She was knelt on a pillow beside the large bed which held the man he had came to see. Her eyes were red, giving away that she had been crying quite a bit. In her hand rested the form's, so weak and frail looking.

Loki walked over to the other side of the bed, pausing beside it to look down upon him. His skin was pale, no longer flawless and tan, his hair was sprawled out around his head like a golden halo. He laid in just a white tunic and pants, having the blankets pulled up to his waist. With a shaking hand, Loki brushed some of the hair out of his face, running his thin, pale fingers through it slowly, letting his hand come to rest on the side of his face, where his stubble prickled lightly at his hand.

"When did he fall...?" Loki asked in a whisper, his voice sounding so foreign to him.

His mother looked up at him then back down at her eldest son, "About two hours ago, while you were out at market. It was so unexpected, that we thought he was playing a joke, but when he did not stand up again after while, we knew something was wrong. We brought him as quick as we could." she explained, running her thumb over his hand.

This couldn't be happening. The reality was too painful to bare. He waited for his brother to sit up and try to scare him, but it never happened. Taking his hand from his hair, he crawled onto the bed with him, standing on his knees at his side. He held his hands up above him, "I-I can help," he said as his hands started to glow faintly.

"Loki..." his mother started.

"No!" he shouted, cutting her off as he clenched his eyes shut, "I refuse to sit here and mourn when I can do something to prevent his passing!" He narrowed his eyes at her, his heart racing. She frowned but didn't say anything more, just looking down. Loki took a deep breath, his hands trembling violently as he closed his eyes and focused. He murmured powerful spells, bringing forth all he could. A gold shield appeared around the other's laying form and Loki rested his hands on it. He went inside his brother, into his heart, his mind. He tried to awaken him, to get something out of him, but all he heard was a faint "_I'm so sorry_..." echo through him.

He pulled back out, the shield fading away. Opening his eyes, tears started to form in them when he discovered there was nothing physically wrong with him. It was all in his head. Loki put his hands on the other's shoulders, light at first, then firmly, gripping until his knuckles turned white. He dug his black nails into the other's skin until he drew blood. He tried to shake him violently, but he had no energy for that. "Damn it Thor!" he shouted at the top of his lungs, "Stop his madness, do you hear? You are bring your own death! You must wake up! Thor!" he shook him as best he could, but his brother made no movement, so sign of life. Feeling sad and angry, Loki collapsed down on his brother, folding his arms on his chest to bury his face into them. His hair sprawled out around him as his shoulders shook. He tried not to sob and wail like he wanted too, but it was hard when the pull of the other's death was tugging on his own heart as well.

All was silent in the chambers other than his sobbing. Soon, his mother stood and touched his head with a gentle hand, making him look up at her. She wiped away some of his tears, "I shall leave him to your care..." She said softly, looking as though she could break down once more, "If you need anything, just tell the guards and they shall fetch it for you." Loki nodded, unable to form words. Slowly, his mother left.

He looked back at the door then down at his brother. He lifted a hand to place it on his cheek then lifted himself to hover over him. He cupped both his cheeks and pressed his forehead to his, closing his eyes once more. His heart clenched as more tears tore his body apart. He pressed light kisses over his eyes, then on his forehead, last one longer than the first. "You need to fight this..." he whispered against his skin, "You are stronger than this... Do not let such a weak thing such as death pull you away from this world... Take you away from me..." He ran his face gently over the other's, his lips parted, "Please Thor... I have lost you once, do not make me go through the same again..." He pulled back to look down at him, as though he expected him to open his eyes and smile at him, but he didn't. He laid still and emotionless, as though he were only the shell of a man he once was.

He moved to sit back on his ankles, taking one of his large, cold hands into his. He brought it up to his face to hold close then ran his lips over his palm, closing his eyes. "You are selfish," he mumbled into his palm, "Selfish and ignorant. How dare you leave me behind in this world; one in which I do not belong," he gripped his hand tighter, "A world that does not make sense without you to light the way for me..." He looked back down at him, "Who is to help me with my tricks, or sneak away with me to the market when we are suppose to train?" he moved to lay down again, resting his head on the other's chest. He listened to his fluttering heart beat and closed his eyes. "I do not know what it is your are sorry for, but I do know that it is not worth your life. A-and if you leave me behind once more, I'll... I'll..." he gritted his teeth as more tears came on, "I shall never forgive you... ever..."

He laid there with his brother, the man he held so close to his heart. He ran his finger tips down his neck slowly, feeling the muscle there, then to his arm. He took his hand into his again and pressing his own hand to it. He examined how much larger it was than his, how much stronger, rougher... One of a true warrior, one of a man who knew all his secrets.

He felt so tired now. His heart was spent in the matter for a few hours. In just those few hours, he's lost himself, dying inside. His world had been taken by the horns and flipped upside down, leaving him no ground to stand upon. He finally let his eyes close, so heavy and wet. He drew in a soft breath, "If you cannot hear me..." he whispered, turning his face into his neck, "Then perhaps you can feel me when I tell you how dear you are you me... How I always cherished everything we did together... I loved how you stood by me when we got into trouble together, and even if father threatened to banish up to another realm, you would still be there for me... standing so strong and tall, being someone I could look up to... and..." he lightly touched his lips to his neck so he would feel them form his words,

"I love you... so much..."

He let his lips linger a moment, just to feel his pulse against them, then pulled away and looked down at him. He took both his hands into his and put the back of his fingers to his forehead in their gesture of love and compassion, then rested them on the other's chest again, holding them for a moment longer before he pulled away.

And the other pulled them back.

"I'm so sorry..."


End file.
